Slutty

Dear Fat Ladies with thunder thighs who choose to wear super short shorts,  what is wrong with all of u?

What's with the tons of confidence in deciding to parade around town in uber short shorts tt show every inch of your cellulite laden thighs tt are capable of causing a tsunami rippling effect when your thigh jiggles with every step you take?

Did you look into one of those mirrors tt stretch u upwards giving u e perception tt ure thin and tall? Cuz if u did, I suggest u look into one of those regular mirrors that show u e real you.  

It's one thing to wear berms on a hot day but it's another to wear tight short shorts and think you're cool. The only thing 'cool' would be my face when it freezes from the shock of seeing your thunder thighs.  

I just cannot fathom what goes on in your mind when you struggled to put on those shorts. Yes i know..you WERE struggling. Cuz with sucha fat ass and gigantic thighs like yours, I'd be surprised if Moses Lim can't fit into them.

Alright alright, jokes aside.

Seriously, whassup with e new look of wearing shorts to town these days? Ok so it's cool. But this is a case of fashion gone TOTALLY WRONG. It's a case of women buying clothes tt they think looks good on them juz cuz e model wearing it looks gorgeous. Excuse me ladies but Cindy Crawford is Cindy Crawford. I don't even care if your name is Cindy but you ain't gonna be able to pull off tt look baby..

I was having lunch with a friend this afternoon at Sakae Sushi at Wheelock when she pointed out this chubby girl who was wearing a pair of shorts tt was soooo short tt i cud see her butt cheeks!

I swear i lost my appetite right there and then.

It was bad seeing her whole thighs filled with cellulite..right down to her knee area. (Ah well, i have cellulite too but i dun dress like tt!) It was bad tt I had to see her thighs jiggle as she walked.

But it was TERRIBLY HORRIBLY AMAZINGLY DISGUSTINGLY SICK to see someone's jiggly cellulite butt cheek!

Ok tt made me go “eek!” too.

OMG girl, for e love of God, pls go buy yourself a new pair of shorts! Seeing tt ure fat, pls stop squeezing into such clothes and go on ebay. Go buy clothes from US, they have MEGA sizes! Just stop traumatizing we Orchard shoppers!

I know it's e time to share since it's Xmas, but i really don't need you to share your intimate jiggly bits with me in public.

Oh gawd im really feeling sick. Not to mention, this has gotta be like e 3542356657th time I saw a fat girl wear shorts tt were tooooo short for her.

This suddenly reminds me of another fashion faux pas..e hipster pants and e butt crack.

Ok, i'll save tt one for another time.

Heh  

I love watching porn on just about any day. But what really turns me off instead of turning me on is when I dl a clip with a really horny sounding title only to find it not horny at all.

When i watch porn, i want all e action. All that loud banging and even louder moaning. So imagine how annoyed I was when e porn clip i had dled came out sucky. (no pun intended! honest!)

I especially hate these kinda porno:

1) those tt are censored. like hello? which part of seeing boxed up unclear pics do u think is a turn on? dun gimme e crap abt censoring e pussies and dicks. fucking is all abt pussies and dicks. if i cant see any pussy or any dick, then i might as well just fuck myself with a dildo.

2) those that are all about touching and ends at touching. what good is porn if all im gonna be seeing are 2 pple touching each other and moaning like a dog who got drunk? if i wanted to see pple do 'soft porn', i'd go to East Coast Park..there are tons of people making out there and honestly, e last car park at East Coast Park gives better real life porn. (I'd know tt cuz yours truly is a 'member' of tt carpark *winks*)

3) men with tiny dicks. 'nuff said. i'd rather fuck my own chopsticks than a man with a tiny dick. e last thing i'd wanna say is “erm are u in yet?” when e fellar just came..

4) women with flat boobs. this is a TOTAL turn off for me. i CANNOT get turned on my flat chested women. I feel like im fucking a man with long hair and a surgically enhanced pussy. sooo not my kinda thing. What i wanna see are busty or at least a B cupped woman with bouncy breasts jiggling away while a guy teases her nipples. What i DON'T wanna see are women who shake like an earthquake and yet e boobs can barely be seen! Looks like as tho im watching someone with mosquito bites on their chest. tsk tskkk

5) hardcore fucking till e chick bleeds. yea im into fake rape porn but not into blood. it's one thing to see a hot chick pretend to struggle and another thing to see a chick actually bleed and have blood drip down her pussy onto her butt. if i wanted to do tt, i'd have slaughtered a chicken instead.

Man, can someone email me some kinky and good porn? I think e 3gp files are smaller and pack in quite a bit so i guess that shd work. Or does anyone have any links or something?

Some days when a girl ain't up for a ONS, porn will have to suffice.

So someone pls email me yea?

 

Thirsting for porn,

Slutty *moans*