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Overheard In The Toilet While Peeing

2008-08-11

Girl A: Wah you urine so noisy!
Girl B: Yah what! You mean you urine no noise meh?
Girl A: No. Mine very quiet. Eee your down there spoil liao.
*loud laughter*
Girl C: Aiyah you virgin lah Girl B!
Girl B: What?! You don't anyhow say ok.
Girl C: It's true lah. When you're a virgin, your down there is tight so the pressure when you urine is strong lor. When you no more virgin then won't have noise.
Girl A: Ya ya! Girl C is correct! Girl B, you are STILL a virgin!
Girl B: Weeeei!!! *flushing noise*
*more laughter*
Me: *totally speechless*

I can't believe this was the conversation I heard this morning when I went to the toilet. Can't believe there are actually people who have this warped mentality!

-_-





My Vibrator Died On Me

2008-07-12

My Battery-Operated-Boyfriend aka BOB aka Vibrator died on me today. I am soo sad! How am I possibly gonna go thru all those long lonely nights? Who else is gonna snug under e covers with me and keep me feeling fuzzy?

I feel so sad.

'He' has got me a new vibrator but who cares. I love BOB!

My thrusty pink vibrator. It's been 8 long years. (what a pun..)

I feel unmotivated to do anything else but hold on to it hoping tt it wud vibrate once more.

Sigh..





Sex and Games

2008-05-11

Sleeping ard is so fun when you're not involved with people who know you. Last week, I woke up to a very weird looking room.

I turned ard to look for 'him' but he was in e shower.

Im not one who enjoys hanging ard my ONS so i quickly put my clothes on and crept away.

Few days passed and I completely forgot abt it.

Last night, my friend invited me to one of her friend's house party. It was her friend's bf's bday and they were having a party. 

The moment I walked into e condo area, I thot it looked familiar. Afterall I had left in the morning, last nite I was going over at night. Somehow my bimbotic mind did not manage to connect e 2 together.

Anyways, I went up to their house and my jaw drop. It was then it hit me. I was at this place last week.

As i was trying to unshock myself, 'he' appeared with my friend's friend.

OH HOLY FUCK.

I shook his hand and quickly pulled back, immediately looking away. At the corner of my eye, I could see he remembered me.

Even before I could get over e shock, my friend's friend announced, “thanks for coming to our engagement party!”

I SWEAR MY EYES ALMOST JUMPED OUT AND COMMITTED SUICIDE ON MY BEHALF..

I turned to my friend and exclaimed, “i thot u said it was a bday party..i only brought wine to celebrate..err guess we need more now?” 

OH HOLY HOLY FUCK!!!

great, how e hell in e world did i cross e line?

last nite i could barely utter a single word. i sat at e corner of e house and spent most of it away from him. he tried to come over but i took e initiative and left e hse instead.

oh my, what am i gonna do now? i feel really really weird.

urghhh 





Sex Pics

2008-02-01

Edison, Gillian & Cecilia sex pics!

 

Sorry for the updates people. Been busy with!

1) Work

2) Sex

3) More sex *winks*

4) Looking around the web at all the Edison, Gillian and Cecilia SEX pics!

 

Woohooo.. life is good! :P

 

For my dear Chocoboard readers, i've got kinky pics for u all to see. Not sure if it's even real but oh well…porn is always good yea? I know i've been slow in the updating but really, work's been a mega bitch..

 

Check it out here but be quick before the authorities get them removed.

My personal favorites are the one with the police uniform. Kinky! 

 

Enjoy!

 

*hot kisses*

 

(P/S: I've started blogging at http://elmoism.blogspot.com) Do visit me! ;) 

 

 





My Ex-Gf Has Your Panties

2008-01-11

I was about to fuck this guy who picked me up at the club last week but I got turned off just before all the action happened.

I was in my sexy bathrobe after taking a shower and had put on a very lacey pair of panties with garters and stockings to complete e whole S&M look. Afterall I had plan to do some whipping and spanking that night *winks*

Oh wait, that's not the point of the story.

I walked to the bed area and gave him a sexy look to beckon him over before I laid on the bed for him to pounce on me.

The fellar was obviously horny from the size of his cock and that made me really wet. Imagine how perky my nipples were when I saw him step out of his boxers. 

I couldn't wait for some kinky action!

He slid towards me and released my bathrobe revealing my lingerie.  Without noticing my lingerie in detail, he started kissing my neck and caressing me around. My bathrobe got in the way and he tried to take it out. As he was doing it, he finally noticed my lingerie.

And omg, he said the most turn-off thing anyone could say during sex.

“Hey, my ex gf has your panties. In the same colour too. That's like fucking my ex all over again”. 

And he broke out into the weirdest and freakiest laughter everrr!

If I had a cock, that wud have been e time I went soft. But since I didn't have a cock, my nipples immediately went into hiding and I could no longer feel the wet spot in btwn my thighs.

Needless to say, I told him I suddenly had the headache. Hello, that was true ok. We women don't ALWAYS give such lame excuses. I REALLY did have a headache after that.

I quickly got out of bed, put on my clothes and ran off.

He looked back at me and gave e puzzled look.

Sigh..pity he sounded more brilliant in the club.

Men, pls dont EVER EVER EVER mention anything about your ex to women u're about to fuck even if it's a ONS. Cuz e only thing u're gonna get from us is NOTHING.

And to think tt fellar had e audacity to call me this morning to ask whether we wanna meet up again.

Like hello? Wasn't once bad enough? 

*rolls eyes*





Malaysian Minister in Sex Video

2008-01-01

Ooh a Malaysian minister has been involved in a sex video. Wow porn. How exciting! 

Actually no it isnt. Why wud anyone be excited over an old man having sex? Especially when hes already got 3 kids? That's as good as seeing Bush have sex.

Imagine the saggy skin, nono the wrinkly skin, e saggy balls, e viagra hardened penis (notice i only say penis when i am sooo not turned on by it?)

Eww eww ewwwww.

But i've gotta admit lah. it is pretty entertaining. Afterall, what about Msia's booboo's arent entertaining? Like their dumb blog fiasco with regards to Pedra Branca and aiyoh dun get me started on e rest or else even when 2010 comes i won't be done..

So the question again is…WHO HAS THE VIDEO?

Hehe..

Cmon, it is STILL sex. I don't care tt he's involved. I care to see whether our dear neighbor's ministers are good enough in bed.

Not tt i intend to shag anyone..(hello i dun do Msians period.)

But ya i still wanna see it.

Esp when e fellar has e cheek to say tt he did it with a personal friend.

Oooh now that's PERSONAL. So that's what he meant by a personal friend. A personal friend who he does personal things with.

Ahhh. Now i understand. So e next time someone introduces their 'personal' friend to me, i shall give them e wink.

So ya..quick..who has e link?

 

*kisses*





Getting Physical With Married Men

2007-12-31

I sat down on the plane and suddenly I felt a bulge rub against my left shoulder. I looked to my left and I saw a crotch, a hard-on in fact. I looked up and it was him - e same guy I saw earlier on. He had changed his jacket and was wearing the airline uniform. 

He was helping a passenger upload their luggage into e bag area behind my seat. When he was finally done, I realised it wasn't a hard-on. His crotch WAS that BIG. I quickly turned away to avoid any contact.

“Hi Mdm, could you please bring your seat forward, we're about to take off.”

I gulped.

As I placed my finger on the button to push the seat forward, that very same voice said “You look so much prettier up close”.

I blushed and he walked off.

It was after dinner when I felt I really had to pee. Had controlled too long while waiting for everyone to finish their toilet business.

I got out of my seat and walked to the back of the plane. It was dark and I could barely make out the toilet behind the closed curtains.

Stumbling from door to door, I pushed one of the doors and went in. I did my business and washed up, ready to step out.

I opened the door and out of nowhere, I felt a huge bump on my body. I blinked hard to clear my eyes and there he was again. This time, his hard body pressed against my breasts. 

Tried as I might not to notice it, I felt the bulge again. I swear it could have been a hard-on! 

I tried moving to my right and he tried moving to the left which in turn was my right. We did that again in the opposite direction only to rub against each other. Did it for a few times and I could feel my breasts jiggle against his chest and his crotch rub against mine.

It felt sooo good. Like a nice dry hump.

I let out a short and soft moan.

“I'm sorry. I'm Axxxxx. Give me a call when you're settled in Manila?”

I looked at him with a puzzled face.

He moved his body closer towards me, as though he was gonna kiss me..but then moved over and whispered into my ear.

“Call me. Let's hook up. We can have lots of good fun”

He winked at me and slid a paper into my hand. It was his number..as tho he was planning on giving it to me even before he bumped into me.

I smiled and walked back to my seat.

Arrived in Manila shortly and gave him a call. I had barely left the airport in fact and was wondering if he would be putting up anywhere near my apartment.

The phone rang but nobody answered.

“Are u looking for me?”

I turned around and omg it was as tho he was stalking me! My smile gave it away..it was too obvious I was keen on seeing him.

“I'm staying at e XXX. All of us stay at e same hotel, not very convenient to hang out right now. Perhaps we can hook up for dinner tonight? So this is your number right? How abt I call u when I reach the hotel and we decide a place?”

I nodded and got on the taxi.

He rang me up close to 7..just as I was thinking he was not gonna call. He asked to meet in one of e pubs at Makati.

I dressed and got into a cab. It was close to 830 by e time I arrived. Yes, traffic in Makati is terrible..and u thot Bangcock was worse!

Standing at e corner in a nice blazer and a long white sleeve shirt was him. No tie, blazer unbuttoned. I walked closer and just 2m away I cud smell his thick musky cologne.

Now anyone who knows me or who has fucked me knows how crazy and horny I get when my man has some nice musky cologne on. Just drives my pussy wild! Imagine how turned on I got when I smelt him!

He spared no time in wasting to get to know me. He pulled me over hugged me. And when I say hug, I meant he hugged my butt.

“I'm horny,” he said.

“Me too,” I replied.

He took my hand and pulled me to the corner of e road.

I thot to myself. Here? By e roadside of some Makati road? Ok so i've had outdoor sex but so openly?

My hormones were raging and I soon found myself not bothering about it. His kisses on my neck were too intense for me to think too much.

He slid his hands under my top and flicked my nipples. It felt soo nice.

I felt sooo horny.

He stopped flicking and started kissing me full on the lips instead.

Before I knew it, I felt my right leg being lifted and put on his lap. He then placed his hands under my skirt, parting my thongs. His fingers were so warm.

They quickly but carefully found its way to my clit, tickling it and leaving me moaning. Again, he stopped doing it.

I dunno if it was his trick or what to get me hornier by doing something to get me into e mood only to stop when I was really feeling super shiok.

But it was ok, cuz what was way better was gonna start.

He took out his cock and omg..if on e plane was a hard-on i thot, then i was soooooooooooo wrong! This fellar has one helluva dino-cock!

He rubbed it against my pussy, not putting it in at all.

And suddenly i pushed him away.

“No condoms?” I asked guiltily. Ok so i HATE to ask guys for condoms when I have sex but hello? Protection comes first! I know it totally kills e mood but I cudnt help it. But trust me, in this case, it was really necessary as u'll find out soon.

He whipped out his wallet and said it was in there. I put down my leg and tried to help him.

As he pulled out the condom, his wallet fell on the floor.

I bent over and picked it up. The wallet was opened and in it was a family pic of him.

“You're married? To that girl? I thot tt girl earlier today was just your gf..OMG you have a son?!?!?!?!?!”

My jaw hung open.

I turned to him and before I cud even control myself, my hand flew towards his face and gave him a really hard slap.

I don't do married men..at all.

For him to have done that and not even have e decency to let me know..that just turned me off totally.

I pulled down my skirt properly and ran off to the taxi stand across the pub.  I jumped into e cab and as I looked back, I noticed he was still standing by e corner of the road.

Not sure if he was still in shock but I sure was.

I went home that nite and felt disgusted and guilty.

Whatever the case, I was wrong to have flirted with him.

 

Point of story, I don't do attached men.

So married men out there who have been emailing me openly to tell me tt ure married and want some fun outside of ur marriage, pls..thanks for telling me ure married but no, whatever e case..i'm never gonna sleep with any of u. (Including e bastard who was willing to pay $3K..ure sucha loser..read me? LOSER!)

Urgh..im still feeling disgusted with myself for getting involved with a cabin crew.

Oh whateva..goodnite.

And oh, Happy Countdown! 

 





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