Slutty

Remember my ex-boss asked me out on V day last mth? I thot it was gonna be a sex date since afterall he's been peeping down my blouse and keeps looking up and down my legs whenever I wear a dress.

But nah, he was just asking me out for dinner..just pure dinner.

I met up with him earlier this week and *cough cough* he asked me what I saw him as. Whether I think he's cute or not.

And if tt wasn't odd enough, he told me tt he's looking for a wife.

He's 36 btw.

Hmm..do I look like marriage material? I don't think so ya know..Ok nvm, i'm too thick skinned. I shall take it tt hes just sharing his thots with me and tt he isn't hinting at anything.

And for the first time ever, I actually felt odd when a man paid for my meal. I get men paying for my meals all the time but it didn't feel right when he paid. I felt as tho I was agreeing to something (which I don't know what it is) in return for the free meal.

To think this is the fellar who used to be so serious with me during work. And now he's treating me to dinner and even asked me out during dinner itself, whether im free next week to catch Rule #1 with him.

And for the first time also, my hair stood when he touched my back to bring me to sit down. I notice he's suddenly touching me more than usual. Sometimes it's just a pat on the shoulder, sometimes it's just 'accidentally' brushing against me and the other day, he grabbed my wrist to cross the road like as tho i'm a small kid who dunno how to cross e road! *gasps*

And when we walked pass Gucci at Taka, I casually told him how annoyed I was tt the bag tt I wanted wasn't available in Singapore. To my surprise, he said tt if I wanted, he could get it for me.

Perhaps i'm just over reacting. He's just being normally extra nice rite? Right right right?

Hmm..

Would you date your ex-boss?

That aside, my new job is killing me!!!

:(

I wanna quit!!

URGHHHHHHH

I was Facebook hopping earlier on and I suddenly stumbled on my ex bf's profile. It caught my attention cuz I noticed he is like really super cute now.

For those who know me personally and know tt I dated this loser back then (gawd knows what I was thinking), they all know what a weirdo he is.

So imagine how surprised I was when I saw his profile. Gone were his long oily hair, ugly all black clothes and sulky face. Instead what I saw was a super hunky guy with a twinkly smile.

Itchy me just HAD to msg e fellar to chat him up.

Surprisingly, he replied within 5 minutes. It sure felt as tho he was hanging ard on Facebook waiting for me to msg him LOL..hehe 

I clicked on e response and omg, tt loser replied “Ya, what do u want? Have u not tormented me enough in my life?”

Whoaaa.. tts kinda heavy for a simple Hi from me ya?

So i ignored him and just said tt i wanted to just say hi cuz I saw him on Facebook.

Again, tt loser responded with a rude response.

“I'm fine. No, i'm great. SUPER GREAT. I'm having sex with so many girls now. So many girls are dying to be with me. In fact i'm chatting on the phone with a very hot girl now. Hotter than you and she loves me so much unlike you who cheated my heart. Stop patronising me.”

-_-

What did i do wrong?

All i did was say Hi.

Men can be sooooooooo immature sometimes. To think tt just cuz I didnt wanna sleep wif him (he had e tiniest dick ever! i swear!!! 3 inches for a hardon IS NOT e penis..) and cuz I wasn't madly in love with him (and how was I supposed to be in love with someone who had terrible body odour..again, i didn't know what I was thinking back then!), he gets all insecure and defensive.

And to think it's been 10 yrs on..

To think men sometimes wonder why women are mean to them.

*rolls eyes* 

If tt wasn't bad enough, he replied me even tho I stopped replying him and said, “I lost my virginity to a hot Filipino chick btw”

RIGHT.

I bet it was some Pinoy maid or a Pinoy prostitute..and why e fuck wud anyone wanna admit something like tt?

What a fucker…

LOSER!

Urgh..whatever, im going to sleep..am not gonna bother abt such losers..Bah! 

Losing a dear friend is always e hardest. I have decided to share with you all a very touching story about life and death, and the friends we have.

 

The following is sure to stir up your heart and touch your soul.

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AHAHAHAHAHA that soooooooooooo cracked me up.

 

It's Friday tmr! TGIF people!  

 

 

 

So wrong but feels sooo right.

Have you ever fallen for someone in the most wrongest of ways? Like say falling for your sister-in-law, your best friend's wife, your client, a married friend, a colleague? Basically falling for someone that will most definitely get everyone's tongues wagging..

Or have you fallen for someone in the most inappropriate way? Like a man who has an expectant wife, a business associate, a boss, someone in a rival company? Basically falling for someone who will in some or many ways jeopardise your current situation such as your career, your status, your friends etc.

In recent days, the online community has been abuzz with the Rowena Chen case. In case you don't already know, the story goes like this. Man marries woman and they're happy, according to the wife. Man gets wife pregnant and goes overseas to work in Geneva. Man goes with colleague and ends up falling for colleague. After 3mths, man leaves wife and his unborn child for the other woman. Wife is upset and blogs about the whole fiasco. Unexpectedly, the online community picks up the story and i think just e whole world will know abt her story.

Anyways, i've read so many forums and blogs tt oh my, this is like another Tammy case without the sex. But that aside, i'm kinda sitting on e fence on this.

I am prompted to write this cuz im kinda involved in something almost similar just that erm e parties involved are not married and i ain't pregnant. No no sweetheart..And no im not snatching anyone's other half. I hope not!

I find it interesting how everyone blames that Rowena girl..whoever she is be it a Citi banker or a Barclay banker. I find it amazing how everyone also blames the husband. I find it even more amazing how almost NOBODY blames the wife.

I bet my last sentence is so gonna get some hate remarks but i don't really care. This is my blog and Im just stating my thoughts on this.

I've read so many blogs and the other woman and gerald have been repeatedly attacked. Sometimes i feel it's so easy to blame the other cheating parties.

And it doesnt help that majority of those accusing these 2 parties either don't know these pple personally or don't know the full story.

I don't know the full story either and I dont think i ever will.

But in such a case, everyone is right and everyone is wrong.

Everyone is right to pursue what they want. We might never know tt perhaps it IS true that Gerald was pressurised by his wife to have the baby. Perhaps he is being blackmailed by the other woman to stay with her. Perhaps he is having lots of problems with this wife. We will never know cuz HE doesnt have a blog unlike his wife. I might not be a guy but i do know for sure tt men unlike women, hardly bitch or share very personal problems with their mates. Perhaps it's an ego thing, i wouldnt know - but how many men do u know go around telling his friends his problems at home?

As it is, men are already compelled to perform at work and at home. In many ways, a man's capability and success is based on his career and love life. I think it's a lil unfair to blame Gerald and Rowena (the other woman) totally.

What if the wife had blogged only the good things? We didnt read about her bad points. Let's face it, we're all being biased here cuz she claims to be PREGNANT. I am not doubting her pregnancy..just tt i havent seen e pics or know her personally. I am just highlighting the possibilities.

Besides, what's the use of Gerald returning to his wife when he already feels tt way? If he had wanted and thot of working things out, he would have already done so. I doubt a blog written by his wife is gonna make him wake his ideas up and realise tt he suddenly needs to go back to being a good guy. (tho honestly i must admit, he has got one helluva 'come beat me up' face” ) I dont think it's gonna be healthy for him to return back to his wife and resent her, and the baby just cuz of what the public feels of their situation.

I am a nobody in their situation but I think that it is not right to wash your dirty linen in public. Imagine if you're Gerald and this comes to light cuz your wife blogs about it and now e whole of Singapore and maybe more, knows abt it? 

How would you really really feel?

I know this is mean but if I was Gerald, i wud honestly think twice about returning to my wife. I might have wronged but I dont think I can accept my wife telling the whole world I made a booboo. Men have ego, i dont think any guy would be happy to let everyone know abt this fiasco without his knowledge, and definitely not when his job is in the picture too.

I know there's a lot of controversy on tomorrow.sg publishing a re-make of the wife's blog by some unknown blogger. I am not gonna comment on that neither am I gonna comment on whether it was right or not for anyone to have come up with the blog or posted it on tomorrow.sg

All i can say is that for the wife to have blogged about it, she should have known that people would read it. Whether she has already locked it up or not, the fact that she blogged abt such personal issues and  put up her husband's photos is wrong in itself. I dont think it's right for her to 'tell' Rowena that if she has problems with her husband, she should grow up and talk to him. Well, is blogging openly with pics of her husband considered growing up and working things out properly?

These are just my comments..I don't mean to hurt anyone or blame anyone. I am just saying that in all affairs, EVERYONE is always in the wrong. It's easy for outsiders to blame certain parties but everything happens for a reason.

And for the wife, I do feel sorry for her if she is really pregnant but 2 wrongs don't make any right.

:( 

 

 

Im ashamed to have to blog abt this but i think i've kept quiet a lil too long. 

I keep reading blogs after blogs abt this issue and i keep telling myself to let it go, just fuck it and things will improve. I keep telling myself tt as long as you have hope and faith, things wun get worse.

I think im wrong.  Or at least for now i am.

Today i read an entry on how Alfian Saat was called down to the police station for 'harassing' Dr Thio on her thots against gay sex ie e infamous section 377 and 377a.

In e past weeks that i've been surfing ard, i told myself not to get too emotional abt this since afterall i am not gay.

But i dun think i can let my emotions be fluid any longer. Theres this rage in me that's boiling and before I start lashing out at homophobic pple, i feel its best i just pen it down to let it out.

Let me start by first saying that the word homosexual is one helluva dirty word. Ironic isnt it? I am totally against the word, not the group of people. For one, why do we need to label a group of fun loving people with something so derogatory?

What is wrong with being gay or lesbian or not straight?

Don't fucking tell me cuz e bible, e quran, e whatever said so. None of us ever follows e bible or quran 100% and unless you do, dun come and fucking tell me tt its wrong to be gay or lesbian.

Dont fucking tell me its wrong to fall in love with someone of the same sex.

Dont fucking tell me its wrong to caress and shower someone of the same sex with love.

Dont fucking tell me its wrong to get physically intimate with e same sex and orgasm.

Dont fucking tell me any of this is wrong cuz as far as im concerned, i believe in e fairness of everyone whether theyre gay or not.

I am just so ashamed tt a country who prides itself on being a first world country can be so narrow minded about such issues. First was the blowjob thingy and now this?

Lets face it, this isnt just abt gays. We're all narrow minded people. We do this to every minority group.

Do you really think this is just abt HIV? No. We're just narrow minded pple who cannot accept others who are not like us. We are discriminating gays just like how we discriminate against the Malays, Indians, Mentally retarded, Physically retarded and everyone else who isnt normal like how WE THINK THEY SHOULD BE.

Don't lie. Dont pretend this is not true. Dont tell me we aint a group of racist buncha people who actually love our mentally and physically challenged people or the Hari Raya and Deepavali celebrating neighbors of ours.

You know why? Cuz its all a facade. 

Truth is, we're all just a group of super shallow and super narrow minded people.

And what's e saddest thing of all is, how can u go all way out to purposely cause problems for people?

Do all of you who are homophobic think tt gay men PURPOSELY wanna be gay? Do you all seriously think they enjoy being humiliated and stared at in public?

How wud u feel if u were gay just like them? 

Dont just discriminate gay men just cuz they hug and hold hands in public..if u wanna discriminate and make it illegal for them to be together, then why not make it illegal for students below e age of 16 to date so as to prevent unwanted abortions? 

Why not just come up with a whole long list of other illegal items? Do u seriously think tt gay men are soo gonna stop being gay with 377 and 377a being in use?

Who are u all kidding? Behind closed doors, ANYTHING can happen!

Its just so sad tt we discriminate against gay men. There have been so many successful gay men who hiding in their closet just so they can remain sane and accepted in society.

There are people like Alfian Saat and many more who are way smarter, creative and have made more contributions to society than e average straight man out there..yet we still choose to label and discriminate these people. 

Sometimes i wonder what if e worse happened and YOUR VERY FLESH AND BLOOD, YOUR VERY OWN SON comes out gay?

Are you going to despise him and not acknowledge e very fact tt this is ur loved one?

I know some of u will say tt its different when its ur own flesh and blood but tts not e issue at end.

My point is simple. There will always be repercussions to repealing section 377a like more people get infected with HIV, more men openly making out in public etc but then I ask, why not make it illegal for lesbians? How come it isnt illegal for women to kiss and make out in public? 

But that of course is another issue altogether.

I just feel tt by discriminating and ostracizing this group of people, its only gonna allow our future generation to discriminate and ostracize just abt every other group of pple who are not 'normal'. How then do u classify normal? I agree with how some pple say religion and politics shd never mix. I know its hard but tt shd be e case.

I feel really sad when I look ard and see how some of my gay friends have to go ard and pretend their straight just to be accepted by society. Some of them have to put on a mask just so they can get a job and support their old parents.

Its simple to say tt they shd just become straight. It's always simple to say they shd change when i feel that WE should change our mindset.

Being anti-gay is just like being anti-mixed marriages, just that the former is actually illegal. But just imagine the pain and torture these 2 groups of pple have to go thru just cuz of narrow minded pple like some of you out there?

Btw, e next time i hear another fucked up piece of shit head say “Ewww” to gay men, i swear im so gonna slap your face!

That aside…

And to think we're e same country who is trying to promote Singapore as a multicultural and diverse country. Diverse alright..we're so diverse in thinking tt some of us are anti-gay and some of us are pro-gay.

I know i sounded angry in my first few paragraphs but i couldnt help it. I was really seething with anger just reading the other entries.

Theres nothing wrong with being gay. Why do pple keep making such a big deal with it? What is wrong with their anal sex and all? Instead of finding them repulsive, why not look at ourselves? Do you really think tt straight couples do not indulge in anal sex and blowjobs? Instead of being narrow minded, why dont we just educate everyone?

This issue isnt ever gonna end cuz e issue isnt just abt gay men or gay sex. The issue is that we're just a group of terribly narrow minded people and i'm afraid, im ashamed to be part of this.

To the gay men out there who have openly stood out and fought for your rights, I salute you; for this isnt an easy battle to win. Nevertheless, your courage most definitely needs to be saluted.

To the homophobic narrow minded losers out there, I pray hard, very very hard that you do not end up having kids who choose to be gay for that would be one helluva terrible retribution.

God bless. 

We always take our parents for granted. I do at least. I know it's odd to read such an entry on my sexish blog but i cant help but blog abt this.

I was Facebook-ing earlier on (more on tt in another entry) when i found a former school mate. I thot like oh cool i found her, i shall look at her profile.

As i scrolled down, i noticed there was this info part about her dad leaving her. I thot it sounded kinded weird and then i took a look at her blog.

Immediately, like a broken tap, tears came gushing out. It was so terribly painful to read her blog. Yet i continued to do so cuz as i kept reading, i thot more abt my mom.

I love my mom a lot. Im not sure if ive actually blogged abt this but yea i love my mom a lot.

I'm pretty much e kinda person u wud label a mommy's girl just tt sometimes i dun show it to pple.

Anyways, reading e blog made me think of how one day my mom will go away and leave me in this world all alone by myself. How i wont be able to eat all her yummy food again, there wont be anyone to sayang me anymore, nobody to scold me and all..

And u know what? I got really scared. Yea i did.

I got really scared cuz with me flying ard like this..how sure am i that i can get tix back at e last minute to see her one last time if anything were to happen?

I think abt this on and off and it always ends up in tears. This round it was a lil more painful cuz the last time i left SG, i kinda quarreled with my parents over something really silly. Things are fine now but somehow i just feel really bad abt this.

I'd love to post the blog here but due to her respect and privacy, i decided not to.

Sometimes i wish all of us could live forever..

I love u Mommy  

What do u do when u feel really sad? Jump off e building?

Err..perhaps not..but u know how on certain days u just feel so sad and have no way of expressing or letting it out?

All u wanna do is just lie in bed all curled up so tt u might eventually feel better cuz ure afraid tt leaving ur bed is only let u be eaten by e big bad wolf?

Ok maybe not tt far fetched but..

SIGH..

I need a nice big warm hug right now.

Have u had something u really wanted and have it taken away from u? I think u know what i mean right?

I feel so bare now. I really liked it a lot. Like a lot a lot a lot that kind.

SIGH

:(

Can i cry?